Sicily Guide

Sharon Barresi from RespiridiVita.Blogspot.com answers a few questions for Sicily Guide. Sharon, from Maine in the USA, has been living in Sicily for fifteen years. After ups and downs as for everyone else who experiences a new culture, she feels to belong to Sicily now. Thanks for agreeing with the interview, Sharon! It is always interesting to learn how other people adapt themselves to live in Sicily.

Why did you move to Sicily and why did you pick Oliveri in the Messina province?

My very first visit to Sicily was in the summer of 1985. It was also my first European trip. I came with my husband and our 4 year old son. It was a wonderful vacation. We were building a vacation house in the spot where my husband’s grandfather had lived. It was torn down after an earthquake had hit the Naples area. The government was offering funds to persons who would tear down old decrepit houses and rebuild. It was a wonderful summer and we enjoyed ourselves.
Back in the USA, we were both working… and working many hours. It seemed to be a rhythm of life…the work…meals… and spending. The vacation was always in our minds. In 1988 we came again but this time in the winter. It was damp, cold and a bit dreary, but it was this time that we made our decision to move to my husband’s birth village. He was renting a building where he had his barber business (in the USA) and the lease was up in 1992. This would be our target date. My husband often talked about his town and his love for it; so instead of relocating his shop in the USA, we would go to Oliveri (Me), Sicily. I would leave my job as Vice President of a lace import and manufacturing business. We would live like everyone on the street and bring our stress level and our lives back to basics. Six weeks before we left the USA (Newport, RI), we shipped what items we could not part with and then in September boarded the plane and landed into our new lives. 

The transition was not easy, although the first three months were fairytale stuff. My husband did not open his shop till January and we had 3 glorious months for the three of us together. I opted to homeschool our son for the first year, after running into a teacher whom I did not see eye to eye with. She told me she would send the police to my house if I did the home schooling. She had never heard of homeschooling. Believe me, I was not afraid. Our son did go to the school one day per week. He got to choose the day and of course he chose the one with Art…PE… and English. He returned the next year and eventually went on to the Liceo Scientifico, in the next town. 

How did you start writing Respiri di Vita, your blog, and why?

In late 2006 I started thinking of starting a blog. My first idea was doing it about vegetables. I have found that we have an influx of one vegetable every different month. In fact the blog name was going to be Veggie of the Month. Right now we are living with peppers and eggplant and tomatoes. I think potatoes are coming soon. I was going to feature the veggie and offer recipes. Surfing the net, I saw food blogs that were much more interesting than anything I could offer so I changed my mind and decided to do a diary of this town for one year. The name Respiri Di Vita comes from a Celantano song. I am a fan of this singer. 

Can you share with us something that has been and is still a surprise to you while in Sicily?

It is a surprise to me that women are not friendly to one another. This is my biggest disappointment. I identify with women who are half my age. I am now into my 60’s. Women my age can be nice and helpful but always to a point. They are close with their cousins, aunts…comare..etc. I find some are jealous if one of these relatives do to many things with someone outside the family. I have found a couple women who share and that is rare. These women are those who have lived outside this town. Another surprise is the greeting given to the husband.. often is supposed to include the family. Our first invite to a wedding only carried my husband’s name on the envelope. I was a little put out thinking I’d not been invited, but later found out that the head of the household’s name included everyone. Once the Mayor of the town saluted my husband. The word *par condicio* had just come over the television, and I said this word to him. He reminds me of this often. He said he never made that mistake again and always salutes both husband and wife. I was always used to doing a weekly shopping and the daily shopping was a surprise. Empty refrigerators another surprise. I imagine that the women liked fresh…and they also liked dressing up to go to the shops. Washing the streets is another activity that amazed me. This could really be a long answer. […] Funerals are another surprise. The quickness of burial after death in my opinion is a good thing. It is an intense 24 hours but the ceremonial part of death does not drag on. Another surprise concerning death is how personal it is for so many. The claim to have been the last one to have seen the dead person alive is one of honor. I have heard this so many times. A factor surrounding life and almost every thing that surrounds life is another surprising thing… curiosity. Everyone wants to know your business…not for any other reason than curiosity. The first time I came to Sicily, I loaded the suitcase with Pepto Bismal. I had eaten at Sicilian relatives homes in the USA and always felt like lead in my stomach. I was gonna be prepared for rich and greasy food. Surprise! Everything is delicious. I love the vegetables and fish. The meat isn’t so good as the US, but you can prepare it so it is tasty. I love the food here and wish I could duplicate it in the USA, but it never comes the same. 

What can you tell us about some Sicilian stereotypes?

There are stereotypes. It is almost not fair to be answering this question as I am reading a book called Sicilian Lives by Danilo Dolci and it is opening my eyes to the hows and whys of local characters and local actions. However, I am convinced that there is some truth in stereotypes, but are extremely exaggerated. When someone asks me the difference between Sicily and where I came from in the USA, I always answer that there are more things alike than different. We all want to eat, work, love and get on with life. My home is a happy one and I think it could be anywhere. 

Did your stay in Sicily help to change your perception of the island?

I had absolutely no idea what it was going to be like in Sicily before I came her. It was a big adventure. Change the life and see what and how another culture lives. The culture moves slowly. The family is the center of life and I find it difficult for the younger generation to have the guts to change. The majority follow the family. Living on the same property, seeing the same groups of people and doing the same jobs. I think many want to change but many give up. I get some very pointed attacks about my family being in the USA and my living here. It does not sink in that in the USA we raise our kids to be independent. I give up on explaining this. 

Do you go back to the USA regularly? Fifteen years away is a long time. What do you miss the most?

My family lives in Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Ohio. I go back at least once per year. However, this is the one year I opted to not travel. I don’t miss the geography of the USA but miss my family. My last visit was for seven weeks and I could not wait to get back. One of my favorite things to do in the USA - when I go back - is taking road trips with my daughter’s family. I enjoy seeing the progress of my children and grandchildren. As far as food…I miss breakfast and going out for breakfast. I have also become addicted to Starbucks coffee. Oh …I miss books in English. 

You said that your son came back to the USA because of the job situation. It is a plague in Southern Italy and, even more so, in Sicily. Do you think Sicily can offer more stability to its young people in the near future or it is just a good place to go on vacation or retire?

My son made a decision to return to the USA for his senior year in High School. He gave us a good argument that he needed terminology in English and American history as he planned on attending the university there. He went to live with his sister and upon entering the local high school in Rhode Island and they suggested he come back to Sicily and finish his education here. The claim was he had already studied and learned more than they could offer him. He was even put into an honors English class. I found this strange as he had been studying ESL for the past several years.
They claim the south of Italy is now better educated than the north. But it only seems to be a claim and no one is utilizing these educated young folks. I would offer that Sicily is a great place to raise a family and a great place to retire. It is not such a great place to find work and extending horizons. It is changing and perhaps slow to change is a good thing. But not for everyone.

If there is anything else you would like to address? Do you feel a bit Sicilian now?

If you do not have the ability to amuse yourself or keep your own company this is not the place for an American …American. That is how I am known as I have no Italian or Sicilian heritage. It took seven years to become known as Sharon. I had always been called Signora or l’Americana. It feels like I belong here now.

For more information about Sharon Barresi, please visit her blog at http://respiridivita.blogspot.com.

Technorati Tags [ respiri di vita | sicily blog | sharon barresi | oliveri | sicilian stereotypes | expats in sicily ]